rewind<<<>>>> play (Edited)

A story from the past.. thought it would be nice to share..enjoy:

This is where we often sit together .. the steps infront
of the pillars We would sit here and
watch people pass by. Talk about stuffs or even
just be contented with each others company. She
was someone i love talking to. Though at first,
when we werent that close, i admired her from
afar. For me, she was the epitome of simplicity &
beauty. But that changed, when i got to know her
better. She was absolutely more than that.

I always found it hard to talk to her then. But then
things started to change; things started to fall into
their place with just a blink of an eye. We joke
around,called each other, talk about serious matters, and
if it was possible go to
places together. We laugh at the simplest things,
talk about anything & everything and we were
happy.

I admire her for always seeming to always say the
right things at the right time. She was very open
minded about things. She was someone I felt
comfortable with just being myself. I never felt this
obligation to always please her. She's smart,
funny, lovely and most of all .. she was who she is.
Its a whole package deal, everything about her
seem to go together. Even her flaws seem to
compliment her. I dont know how, but it does.

Sometimes, she would just sit with me in silence,
and things would be ... so perfect. I guess i love her,
i don't know. For someone who hasn't rili fallen in love yet.. wouldn't
know when he is. Or can he? All i know is that, i
feel this certain happiness.. it's as if i'm floating.
My feet not touching the ground when i'm with her.
I have this funny feeling every time she touches me
or even when she just looks me straight in the
eyes. Im always happy when we're together. My
day wouldnt be complete without her around.
There's this need in me that wants to be with her
always. Or even just to see her from afar. I don't
know, could this be love? All i know is, she was
someone very special to me.

We would sit here together, and
sometimes when she couldn't make it i'll just play
over and over again in my mind the things we do
together. [And I would sit there, dumbfounded by
the fact that Im smiling .. alone.] The way she
laughs, the look on her face when she gets
excited, the way she listens intently to every word
Im saying, that certain look on her eyes when she
sees butterflies, the way her hair falls on her
cheeks, the innocent, angelic look on her eyes every
morning. I could site a million things here. but then
i would be missing her a million times more. Things
started to change during sembreak of our first year. i didnt know what happend;
there were arguments, misunderstandings and all of a sudden, everything was a blur
. last thing i heard she was with someone
i heard he was sweet,thoughtful, kind and great. And i thought to
myself .. more than i am? I wanted to ask her that,
but I didn't want the look on her eyes to fade away.
It was something i've never seen before. god, she
was beautiful.

What was happening to me? Why do i feel as if all
my guts were slowly being pulled out. It's as if the
whole world stopped just to slap this reality into my
face. This reality that i love her.. so much, that it
hurts.

Months passed by, and slowly we grew apart.
i'd always pass by and sit by our "special" spot. I
would be there, waiting for her to come and visit
me. I would often sit here and think about the
things we did together, our memories. The what if's
in my mind .. if only i told her, i showed her what i
truly feel .. if only, then things would be different. i
know, somehow it would be.. then maybe i wouldn't
be feeling this bleeding in me. There could have
been an 'us'.. i don't know .. i guess i'll never know
now .. would i?

I would always come a little early before i played
ball every Saturday. Thinking and preparing what i would
tell her in case she comes. I would tell her how
special she is to me. That it isnt just my day that
wouldnt be complete without her around;.
my whole life wouldnt be..